Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
