She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
The beer is more important than you right now.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
