im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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