That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Randomize
