Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Randomize