WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
