Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
