so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
