also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
