she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
