So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
