I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
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