So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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