Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Randomize
