I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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