Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I have feelings that need drinking.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Randomize
