i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
