apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
