I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
