Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Randomize
