ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize
