at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
