these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
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