So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
