I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
