Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
