I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
