that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize