brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
Randomize
