He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
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