Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
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