no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
