After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
