i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
