she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
honey bunches of taint.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
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