Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
