Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
