If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
