I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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