When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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