are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize