I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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