Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
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