just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
