I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
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