found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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