i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
no you cant smoke seaweed
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Randomize
