dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
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