arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Randomize
