Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
