Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
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