my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
