C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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