i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Even my vagina gasped.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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