who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Randomize