if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
