Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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