oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
God gave him joint rollers for hands
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Randomize
