the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Randomize
