I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
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