This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
where am i from again
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
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