Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
