HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
