Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
