Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Houston, we have a squirter
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
