Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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