he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
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