I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
