it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
