He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
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