Tell her she can't have a vagina
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize